Все мужчина - свинина.

I don't think women are human beings.

Привет Всем! :)
Я за последние дни мало сдесь бывал. Много работы и 42 проектов которые я координирую.
Мой Русский еще очинь плохой. Сегодня я не мог вспомнить right spelling of January по Русски. Поэтому в official letter to the entire office I had to write smth like the following:
"У нас будет аудит в февраль, но скорее на месяц раньше."

Как Вы думаете, оффис понял что я имел ввиду January?

And how are you guys? I often read my friendspage but I never have time to comment :((
Hope you understand and have no hard feelings on that! :)

Привет, друзья!
Я давно ничево неписал в livejournal, потомучто ездил домой в Будапест на обследование анализов крови, мочи и кала.
Доктор сказал всё в порядке, но нада диета. Я не ем разной плохой еды и нет алкоголь. Я даже похудел, I mean, I really lost 10 kilos! Can you imagine it? 10 kilos! I am so proud of myself!

Yesterday I went to the shop and bought творог "солодкий". I thought "солодкий" means "солёний" so I bought it. Anyway, I have to impove my Ukrainian.

What's up with you guys? :)

 Hi everyone, how are you today?
I am in a good mood - I was at the gym and ran 7 kilometers. Not at once, of course, but in several stages.

I have a new joke - I pretend to throw a football in my colleague's head and every time I do this she's getting scared and starts to scream and curse :). It is so much fun! :)

What jokes do you have?

First of all - I am soooooo happy to see so many new friends :) and I am sorry I cannot reply to all of you - too much work.

And now back to the issue: I asked my subordinate to translate the financial report from Danish and she says she doesn't speak Danish. I don't understand - is that so hard? She can use the latest version of ABBYY LINGVO, besides, financial reports consist mostly of numbers.
I need to be tougher :( I am too kind to people. What do you think?

У меня как у началника of the department есть обязателства поздравлять колег. Я толькочто поздравлял водителя за днем рождение, желал ему самое главно здоровъе, много денег :)

А сейчас я отправлял его искать самий лучый курс EURO. Мне надо поменять 500 ЭВРО а тут самий плохой курс - 7,22. А можно в городе найти курс 7,25, тогда економия UAH 15,00.
А у вас как дела сечас?

One  of my colleagues is having lunch now. I think she might have a new boyfriend.
She wasn't eating before, so I think it means she has a lot of sex and that's why she has to eat.
What do you think guys? Huh? ;) I like my theory.

I have to go to the toilet.

I like the office I work in. We have free чай and кофе, and nice bottled water. Recently however, I've been on a diet, so I can only drink негазированая вода, because otherwise I have газы. 
Пожалуйста, скажыте, как боротца за газы? Это как фасоль, you know. The doctor said I need to lose some weight and газы will reduce.
Anyway, thank you in advance for your kind help!

 I got an invitation to celebrate 232-nd anniversary of American Independence. And even more - I was lucky to get into first 5000 most VIP guests :) (number 4361!)

Я очень щаслив.

 I have a hole in my trousers. I just found it.